


Endings

by TheGreatCatsby



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M, Mental Illness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-27
Updated: 2016-06-27
Packaged: 2018-07-18 11:46:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7313995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheGreatCatsby/pseuds/TheGreatCatsby
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bokuto wakes up to Akaashi gone and a message on his pillow.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Endings

**Author's Note:**

> from the prompt:   
> package: a time capsule  
> from: Akaashi  
> to: Bokuto-san  
> note: what's it like to live forever?

Bokuto didn’t wake up early unless it was for practice, so usually when he woke up the bed was empty. He wished it wasn’t. He loved waking up to Akaashi sleeping next to him, or maybe even not sleeping next to him but just watching him with a fond smile on his face. 

Those fond smiles had been less and less frequent. 

Akaashi would leave early in the mornings and return late at night. Bokuto would sometimes convince Akaashi to watch something on TV with him, since Akaashi didn’t seem to want to go out on dates, and when he held Akaashi in his arms he felt like they didn’t fit together anymore. It was a strange feeling. Akaashi used to melt into him, he used to fit. Now, Akaashi kept himself stiff. 

Bokuto thought it was something he did. Maybe he’d concentrated too much on volleyball and not enough on school. Maybe he hadn’t been romantic. Maybe Akaashi was second guessing. His kisses felt cold, and for all that people said that Akaashi was a cold person, Bokuto knew better. Akaashi wasn’t a cold person. He was just subtly warm. 

Until recently. Recently, he’d become cold. 

“Just talk about it,” Kuroo had told him and Bokuto tried. He did, because he wasn’t the type of person to just let something happen in silence. 

Akaashi would just give him a tight smile and say “We’re fine, Bokuto-san. Everything is fine.” 

A lie. 

Bokuto woke up to the familiar empty bed. As he pushed himself into a sitting position, he noticed something small on Akaashi’s pillow. It was a small, ornate box with a sticky note taped to the top. In Akaashi’s neat writing, it read, “Koutarou, what is it like to live forever? Love, Akaashi.” 

Bokuto’s heart started beating too fast. He opened the box. 

Inside were pictures. Pictures that Bokuto knew Akaashi had on his cell phone, some from his camera back when Akaashi enjoyed photography. That same camera gathered dust on Akaashi’s desk now, another sign of things gone wrong. Bokuto pulled out the pictures one by one. The first was from a few months ago, the last week winter break. The two of them had their arms around a snowman, Bokuto looking proud, Akaashi looking content. 

The next picture was from further back, a selfie Bokuto had taken of the two of them lying on top of a pile of leaves. 

The next, even further back, another selfie of the two of them on the beach, Bokuto with his tongue out, Akaashi with his eyes squinted shut and a faint pinkness spreading across his cheeks from the sun. 

All of the pictures were of the two of them. The last was the first time they got together, after Fukurodani made it to nationals as one of the Tokyo representatives. Bokuto had his arms thrown around Akaashi and Akaashi looked like he was about to fall over, and they were both grinning wide. Someone else had taken the picture. 

Bokuto placed the photos back into the box, carefully and in the same order he found them. He placed it on his pillow and got dressed, his hands shaking. He thought about texting Akaashi but then thought better of it. Akaashi probably wouldn’t answer. 

As he ran outside in his jogging gear, he remembered a conversation he’d had last summer as he and Akaashi sat in the park under the stars. 

“Bokuto-san-” 

“I thought you grew out of that.” 

“Koutarou, do you ever think about how everything is going to end?” 

“...No?” 

“You’re confused.” 

“I mean, yeah? What are you talking about?” 

“Everything ends. School, jobs, relationships.” 

“Yeah, stuff happens and then other stuff happens. I don’t really think about it. It just does. Why?” 

“I think about it.” 

“Is that why you’re always prepared for everything?” 

“Yes, Koutarou. That’s why I’m always prepared.” 

Bokuto resolved to jog the whole city if he had to, but with that conversation in his mind he made his way towards the park. 

On the way, there was a road that rose into a bridge crossing over train tracks. Bokuto ran onto the bridge and caught sight of someone leaning against the railing. As he ran closer, the figure became more familiar. 

Akaashi. 

Bokuto jogged up next to him, breathing hard. Akaashi didn’t even look at him. He was staring down at the train tracks, leaning his full weight on the barrier. 

“Keiji,” Bokuto breathed. He didn’t reach out to touch him. He wanted to, but he felt like if he did, it might break Akaashi’s stillness. It might cause Akaashi to run. 

“You saw my message,” Akaashi said. 

“I did. I love it, but listen, if something’s going on…” He trailed off. “Were you going to leave?” 

“Everything ends,” Akaashi said. He finally lifted his head, turned to Bokuto. His eyes were red, but dry, his face pale. “Koutarou, I have a problem.” 

Bokuto finally felt like he could reach out. He took Akaashi’s hand, gently. It felt cold, but Bokuto’s own hand was warm. He squeezed Akaashi’s hand tight. 

“You could’ve told me,” he said. 

“I didn’t want to burden you.” 

“You could never be a burden. You’ve dealt with so much of my crap. Why wouldn’t I want to deal with yours?” 

Akaashi shrugged. 

“You weren’t thinking, were you?” 

Akaashi’s expression relaxed, slightly. “I suppose not.” 

“You can tell me,” Bokuto said. “Let’s go home.” 

Akaashi let Bokuto lead him back towards their apartment. Bokuto would be lying to himself if he wasn’t scared. He had a feeling he knew what was wrong and it terrified him. But he would be there for Akaashi. He’d always met challenges head on. He and Akaashi had always overcome things together. 

He would help Akaashi for as long as it took. Until Akaashi stopped fixating on endings.


End file.
